After nine years of blissful childlessness, Eric and I finally decided to give this family thing a try. We succeeded with conception in January 2001, and the baby is due on October 11 (plus or minus two weeks). The information below is regularly updated for anyone interested in following our nine-month journey. You may either read straight through, or use the hyperlink shortcuts below. Click here for registry information.

Lady Bug Lullabies - Songs on keyboards by Aunt Shoshana.

The First Trimester

I took a positive home pregnancy test in the end of January. About one week later, the nausea began. I felt sick (but never threw up) from morning 'til night, and even though I ate small meals as recommended, nothing seemed to help. I was miserable. Hormones hit me strong, making me a sleepy, whiny, weepy bitch most of the time. My skin was awful. I was more broken out than I was as a teenager. On Valentine's Day, Eric advised me to share the news with close friends and family to earn their sympathy. I reluctantly agreed (superstitious), but was relieved by their outpouring of love and support.

Baby Ronkin at 9 1/2 weeks

Near the end of February, with my hormones in full swing, I got so mad at Eric (for what? who knows?!) that I got on my bicycle and rode around the neighborhood for an hour to let off steam. I stopped at a park and called my girlfriend, and we bitched about our men for a while. I didn't want to come home, but I was tired. When I got back, I fell asleep. That night, I learned that my brain no longer functioned properly when we got dressed and drove out to the Weezer concert. When we arrived, Eric and I looked at each other and asked why the parking lot was dark and empty. After all, we were 30 minutes late, where was everybody?! Upon closer inspection of the tickets, I discovered that the concert was actually the following night. The next day, as I was wrapping a gift and preparing to drive to my girlfriend's baby shower, I looked closer at the invitation and noticed that it was scheduled for the day before. Ooops! I had to grovel and make special arrangements to meet with her later. Following these events, Eric and I went out and purchased a pair of "Personal Digital Assistants" (PDAs) so that I wouldn't miss another appointment again.

My first two doctors appointments were VERY stressful, and for about ten reasons, I decided to dump my OB/GYN and look for a new doctor. The last straw was the second appointment, which ended with me walking through the rain to my car. I got inside, slammed the door, then cried for about 20 minutes. A few days later, near the end of March, my friend Dana joined me to tour a nearby OB/GYN office, but we weren't impressed. Later, my sister, Naomi, came with me to meet a female OB/GYN. We came armed with a list of 20 questions, which the doctor answered beautifully. I liked many things about her. She is young, she has given birth to her own children, she spends time with her patients, doesn't overbook appointments, offers diagnostic screenings within her office, and, most importantly, lets her patients "in" on what's going on with their medical care. I felt so relieved after meeting her that I asked to have my medical records transferred immediately.

Prior to switching doctors, Eric and I were sent to a specialist for genetic counseling and testing because of our family histories. Eric had one vial of blood drawn to test for Tay-Sachs, while they took about twenty from me for numerous tests, including the full "Jewish Panel" that looks for Tay-Sachs disease, Canavan disease, Cystic fibrosis, Niemann-Pick disease, Fanconi anemia, Bloom syndrome and Gaucher disease. I was also tested for "Fragile-X syndrome," a known cause of autism. This is because my youngest brother, Gil, is autistic. It was pretty funny when we got the results. It was nine o'clock at night and the doctor called us personally with the good news. "You passed with flying colors!" she told us. We were relieved. She went on to ask if we would like to know the sex of the baby. I told her I didn't even know she had tested for that, but sure! She revealed that we were having a girl. I wrote "Girl" on a piece of paper and slid it towards Eric. Then, after a moment, the doctor said, "Oh, wait a minute. I made a mistake. We only tested YOUR blood. Sorry about that. Well, I can say with certainly that YOU are a girl. Aren't you glad that we cleared that up?" She went on to explain that she's used to giving results for amnios and CVS's, and apologized for the confusion. So, it's still a 50-50 toss up that we could have a boy or a girl.

One last note about the first trimester... I'm very glad that I work from home, because between all the nausea, naps, and doctor's appointments, I could have been fired from a regular job!

The Second Trimester

April 11, 2001 - I started taking a prenatal Yoga class once a week. I wish it was offered three times a week, but I'll take what I can get. Yoga is wonderful, and I plan to keep it in my life from now on. It's really relaxing, and provides a good mind & body workout. I'm starting to get my energy back (hooray!), which means I've been able to take Arrow on more regular walks and do some biking on the weekends. My skin is starting to look better, too. Yay! I'm bigger now, so I'm balancing between roomy shorts, T-shirts, baby-doll dresses and maternity clothes. In the next day or so, I'd like to buy a maternity swimsuit. Yesterday, I squeezed into my one-piece Speedo and looked fine, but when I took it off an hour later, I found stitch marks all over my body! Ouch.

Baby Ronkin at 12 weeks

On April 13, I am going to see a neurologist because of my headaches. I do not know what is normal for headaches during pregnancy, but my first doctor found cause for alarm and set up this appointment. My new doctor felt I should stick with the appointment since I'd already gone through the trouble of getting the referral cleared by my HMO. Over the last month, I have been getting headaches anywhere from daily to every two days, and they can last from 30 minutes to several hours. I've recently started taking Tylenol for the really tough ones because I learned it was safe. I do not take much Tylenol, though, and often the headaches go away on their own or with a little caffeine.

Me at 14 1/2 weeks.

My next appointment with my OB/GYN is April 25th (I'll be 16 weeks by then). They'll do the standard stuff, like weigh me and listen to the baby's heartbeat. They'll also draw blood for an "Alpha-fetoprotein triple-screen" to test for Downs Syndrome, neural tube defects, and brain and spinal cord problems. I've been warned that this test generates many false positives, but that we should not be too worried, because it just means I would need further testing. Hopefully, that won't be necessary, because the further tests are invasive and could lead to miscarriage. The next test to look forward to will be the Level 2 Ultrasound at 20 weeks. That's when we may get to learn if we're having a boy or a girl, and we'll get more reassurance (hopefully) that we're having a healthy child.

April 13, 2001 - I just got back from the neurologist. He concluded that my original OB/GYN must be a quack, because "pregnant women get headaches." He said that no other OB/GYN had sent a pregnant woman to him for this problem. Since I was already there, though, he decided to give me a standard neurological exam, which included shining a light in my eyes, asking me how many fingers he was holding up to the left, to the right and straight ahead, and testing my reflexes. He said I passed the test, and advised me to check back with him after delivery only if I experienced any more headaches. He said that an occasional headache (every four weeks or so) for a non-pregnant person is normal. Anything more might warrant an MRI or a CAT scan.

April 21, 2001 - I'm 15 1/2 weeks now, and I think I may have felt my first kicks last night! It was like little butterflies, or being softly tickled under my skin. From what I understand, these feelings will become more pronounced as time goes on, so there will be no mistaking it. A few days ago, I had to take off my wedding ring, and loosen my watch because they became too tight.

Eric at 10 days old

April 25, 2001 - I went in for my 16-week OB/GYN visit today. The nurse detected a strong fetal heart beat -- 160 beats per minute. I was told that my weight gain (12-14 pounds so far) is normal, and that I shouldn't worry that my wedding ring has become too tight. They drew blood for the AFP-triple-screen (ouch!), and should have the results in about three days. No news would be good news. They'll only call me if the results are abnormal. On May 23rd, I'll go back to my OB/GYN for a routine visit, much like the one I had today. On May 24th, the day I reach 20 weeks, I am scheduled to have a Level 2 ultrasound performed by a radiologist. It will be a "total OB Ultrasound screen for fetal abnormalities." Before the test, I have been told to drink 32 ounces of liquid, and NOT TO PEE until the ultrasound is done (2 1/2 hours later). Yeah, right! We'll see. According to my Internet research, sex organs start appearing on ultrasound at 16 weeks, so I hope that they can tell us boy or a girl during this 20-week exam; however, I was warned that the baby must "cooperate" if we are to find out. I have this sinking feeling that this will not happen, and that I'll have to convince my doctor to let me get another ultrasound later, even if we have to pay for it. Frankly, I wish that ultrasound was offered at every monthly checkup. It would be reassuring to see progressive development, and to be visually reminded that there's a live baby in there! Oh well. At least I've got butterfly kicks.

Me at 10 days old

May 3, 2001 - I'm 17 weeks today (only 23 more weeks, or 5 1/2 months, to go. Could this process take any longer?!) Anyway, I was worried about my AFP test results because I had not heard from the doctor yet. Yes, no news is good news, but no news was making me worry, so I called. I was told that the labs had just come in today, so I would have to wait for a call back. After an agonizing 30-minute wait, I learned that my AFP test was NORMAL. What a relief. Also, I'm pleased to report that I haven't had a headache in a while. I hope this keeps up! I'm starting to feel big, but knowing that I'm not even halfway through yet, I fear how big I may become. To see just what I mean, check out this shockwave demonstration of fetal development at Adam.com. I'll post a new picture of me in a few weeks.

May 8, 2001 - Almost 18 weeks, and I developed some kind of urinary tract infection (ouch!). My doctor's office was wonderful. When I called this morning, they told me to come right in. Since I was already there, they decided to check all my vitals again-- weight (143 pounds), fetal heart beat (148 bpm), and blood pressure (??), all normal. One of the assistants ran a urine test, but didn't find anything. She told me I would have to wait two days for lab results, which felt like too long for me, so I asked what I was supposed to do in the meantime. She sent me over to an exam room where I was met by my doctor. I was impressed that my doctor remembered who I was, and asked if I was still having headaches or trouble with caffeine (she is SO different than my last doctor). Because of my history with UTI's (I get them very easily), she decided to start me on a low-level antibiotic right away. I I took one a few hours ago and I'm feeling better already! Because I was completely checked today, my next regular checkup has been moved to June 6. The level-2 ultrasound is a little over two weeks away. That should be fun! Eric will come along. Boy or girl... what do you think? Four family members have told us that they think it's a girl. I still don't have a feeling one way or the other. Check back soon.

Already, you are mother to the one you have brought into being-- the one who sleeps to the rhythm of your heartbeat, knows the sound of your voice, occupies your every waking thought, and appears in your dreams at night.

Already, you are mother to the little one who waits, just like you, for that beautiful day to come when you'll look into each other's eyes and see the lifetime of wonderful that lies ahead.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

May 24, 2001 - Well, today finally came. After weeks of waiting, it was time for the "big ultrasound." I could hardly sleep last night, and was quite anxious this morning, wondering if the baby would be healthy. I drank the 32 ounces of water that they recommended and arrived at the testing center early. It felt like the baby was bouncing on my bladder, which was VERY uncomfortable, so I was pleased when they called me in 15 minutes early. Unfortunately, we were not treated to a deluxe one-hour examination like I'd read about on the Internet. It was more like a hushed 15-minute technical observation. I asked the girl to tilt the screen towards me so I could see what was going on. She responded with a minor tilt, which was useless. I had to crane my neck to see, which the technician didn't like. Apparently, the baby was very squirmy, making it difficult for her to get the measurements, and my movements didn't help. Oh well. At least Eric got to see the action.

I'm not crazy about the photos we got (see right). Another friend of mine got six great photos AND a video. All I got was two pictures that look alien to me. Oh well. At least one thing is for sure... the baby is growing right on schedule! The technician took various measurements. I kept asking if they were normal, and she said yes. She said the baby is 11 ounces with a heart rate of 129 beats per minute. The placenta was in the right place. The spine looked good. The head was facing down, and the amniotic fluid was the correct volume.

So, what are we having? The technician said it was "her feeling" that we were having a GIRL, but that she couldn't say for sure. She stressed that ultrasound is not completely accurate for determining gender, but since she didn't see any boy parts, she was leaning towards a girl. We would have liked it if she had taken a close-up or spent a little more time with this one, but she didn't, so oh well.

All in all, the exam left us both feeling a little flat. I would have liked to see the screen better, to have nicer pictures, and more reassurance that it was indeed a girl. But all in all, we're both happy that the baby is healthy and growing at the proper rate. The technician moved our due date from October 11 to October 12, plus or minus two weeks (because pregnancy can last 38-42 weeks). Anyway, that's the news!

Note: After reading this review, my sister-in-law took pity and gave me the phone number of a diagnostic center that she went to for a second opinion when she was pregnant with her daughter last year. I just talked with the guy, and learned that for just $95, we will get a full narrated video of an ultrasound exam, plus several great pictures. Plus, he will take a much closer look at the sex so that we can be more sure that it's a girl. Hooray! I made the appointment for June 11. Stay tuned for the next update.

May 26, 2001 - This month, we took two maternity tours at two area hospitals. One hospital was clearly better than the other (nicer rooms and better security), so yesterday, I pre-registered with the better one. The woman was really nice, and kept congratulating me on our upcoming arrival. Since our baby is due during hurricane season, I was advised that should a hurricane warning be issued during the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, Eric and I should come directly to the hospital to ride out the storm. This is because the drop in barometric pressure causes some women to go into early labor. We wouldn't be given a room... we'd have to bring our own air mattress, food and supplies, but if I should go into labor, they would be able to take care of everything "as if it were a sunny day" with their in-house staff and back-up generators. Even though we can't bring our pets, the woman said I would be much happier inside because once they go into mandatory "lock down," they won't admit anyone until the storm passes, even if they were bleeding and banging on the doors! All I can say is that I hope we don't have to do this, because I don't want to leave my pets alone. I also signed up for a class, which we will take in August, called "Childbirth Preparation." It will meet once a week in the evenings for four weeks, and will go over everything, including stages of labor, pain management, hospital staff and procedures, and breast feeding. So, for the moment, I think we're all set. Only 4 1/2 - 5 more months to go.

Me at 22 1/2 weeks

June 6, 2001 - "Congratulations, you're more than halfway through!" the nurse practitioner told me at my regular appointment today. I came to this same realization last week. There is finally less time ahead of me than there is behind me! It's nice to know that I've made some progress. Today's regular appointment went well. As usual, I waited only 20 minutes before being seen. An attendant took my blood pressure. It was normal (110 over something). My weight gain was normal... up 5 pounds since last visit (I'm now 148). They also tested my urine for protein, and I'm assuming they didn't find any, otherwise they would have mentioned it. Next, I was sent over to the nurse practitioner, who is very nice. She started by saying the results of my ultrasound were good. I told her about my recurring bladder infection, and the upcoming video ultrasound. She advised me to drink lots and lots of water because my last test came back negative, so antibiotics may not be useful to treat it (even though it makes me feel better), and could make me develop resistance to the drugs. We agreed to keep an eye on it. I should call if I'm in further pain. She was intrigued about the video ultrasound, apologized for my last experience and said she'll stop advising patients to go to that diagnostic center. Next, she measured the height of my abdomen, and remarked that I was just the right size for 21-22 weeks. Then, she brought out the Doppler. She had trouble finding the baby's heart beat, which made me nervous. "The baby's hiding," she suggested as she moved the microphone all around my abdomen. Finally, there it was-- that sweet and fast "whoosh-whoosh" noise that tells me everything's okay. The nurse didn't mention the heart rate, but she did say it sounded strong. My next regular office visit is July 3. Monday evening, we're scheduled to have the video ultrasound done. I'm really hoping that they do a good job this time, not just for our own pleasure but for our child's. We'd like to give the video to her (or him? We're still not really sure!) as a keepsake one day. If we can figure out how to transfer video to the Internet, we will publish some footage. At the very least, we will post any interesting pictures that we are given.

June 9, 2001 - Just back from the salon, I tried on my blue gown for tomorrow night's black-tie wedding. I think this ensemble is very pretty, except that I look like a moose in it. It's hard to believe that I have four more months of growing to do. Prepare to be shocked by future photos!

June 11, 2001 - The Video Ultrasound was fantastic! Shoshana, Ari and Eric came along. We met the radiologist in a cheerful suite with pink walls, mauve carpeting, and soothing harp music. First, we went into a private room to record a personal message to the baby. We laughed the whole time! Then, it was onto the exam room. The radiologist put on some classical music then started the tape and the exam. He spent about 20 minutes showing us everything. First, he reconfirmed that we are having a girl! Then, he went on to show us the rest, including her heart, spine, head, hands, and legs. At one point in the exam, she kicked her legs apart then crossed them. I felt her kick at the same time! She also opened and closed her mouth a few times before sucking her thumb. I'm really glad that we had this video done! Aren't these photographs terrific? Our daughter weighs 1.2 pounds. Once we get the right equipment, we will post some video footage as well.

June 12, 2001 - Today I felt the first strong kick! Yesterday, she gave me a soft kick during the sonogram, but this one was much more pronounced. It started as a hollow rumbling in one spot. When I held my hand over it, I saw the skin rise and I felt a strong kick. Wow! Thankfully, it didn't hurt. It was just weird.

June 17, 2001 - Happy Father's Day! When we awoke this morning, I presented Eric with a father-to-be card and a small framed picture of the baby's last ultrasound (see above). I wrote, "Happy Father's Day! I look forward to meeting you soon, Dad." Later that morning, we went to his parent's house for Father's Day. After we handed a gift to Eric's father, his mother gave Eric a father-to-be card with gift certificate. How thoughtful! After lunch, we watched the video ultrasound twice. That adds up to five viewings for me, and I'm still not bored with it! Later, Eric, his mother and I went to the Baby Love superstore to select baby furniture (a generous gift from his grandparents, with ordering and delivery coordinated by his mother). We reviewed their large selection of cribs, dressers, changing tables, armoires, and gliders.

Finally, after two hours, we selected a delightful set from Ragazzi, a Canadian furniture company. They deliver in the shortest period of time, so it could be guaranteed to arrive before my due date (some of the others could not, so we didn't even look at those). We selected a white lacquered crib with a matching baby changing station from their Nuovo Millennio collection. The station comes with powder pink wood drawer handles, which can be changed later should we tire of pink or find ourselves with a boy! We also ordered a glider with ottoman in an overstuffed mauve fabric with white wood. Ah... I'm looking forward to using that! When we got home, I went to the Ragazzi Web site and used it to develop a floor plan of the nursery. I've included pictures of all the furniture we selected, except for the ottoman, because I don't remember the manufacturer's name. It's kind of fun to imagine what the room will look like! Keeping with tradition, we will not bring any of this furniture into our house until after the baby is born.

June 19, 2001 - So that I could get an idea of how big I might look at nine months, my mother sent me a picture of herself at my first birthday party. She gave birth to my sister Shoshana four days later.

June 21, 2001 - I'm 24 weeks (6 months) along now, and she's so rambunctious! The baby is kicking often, and stronger. Over the past few days, I've felt her rumblings several times a day. The ones that approach painful happen late at night, just as I'm trying to fall asleep. Last night, as she took jabs at my bladder, I pressed on my tummy and rubbed it a bit to quiet her down... what a mistake. That just made her MORE active (instead of single kicks, she started double kicking with multiple appendages... it was strange!) Fortunately, after about ten minutes of this, she stopped and I could fall asleep. I read in one of my books that babies are their most active from 24-28 weeks. That's when they're still small enough to have plenty of room to move around. After that, their kicks come in more reliable patterns, and start to slow down because they get too big for their surroundings. I think the kicks are helping me connect with her. The other night, I had a dream about her. She was beautiful, affectionate, happy and quiet. I wonder if it will be true. My mother said I should start reading books or renting videos on what to do once the baby is born, or else I'll be grossly unprepared. She said that I was a very demanding baby, waking up 2-3 times a night for a feeding, new clothes and a diaper.

June 27, 2001 - Yoga is becoming more difficult. My big stomach seems to be getting in the way of everything! I won't stop going to the class, though. I still get quite a lot out of it. Plus, it's the only real exercise I've been getting these days. The constant rain, heat and humidity have made outdoor walks difficult, and I've been getting tired again, so it's hard to get motivated with a workout video or the exercise bike. Anyway, this afternoon, I met Eric's mother, his grandfather and grandmother at the Baby Love superstore. Shopping with them was wonderful! The pictures below represent our actual order (which changed a little bit from before).

Tomorrow, I am going back to Baby Love with Eric's mom, his grandmother, and my sister-in-law, Susan, to create a gift registry! Afterwards, I will make a duplicate registry at Babies-R-Us because they have a better Web site and more store locations. The only reason we won't go there first is because the service and selection is much better at Baby Love.

June 28, 2001 - I am completely overwhelmed by how much "stuff" one child requires, but also intrigued at how many ways you can carry a baby and where you can put them down-- all while trying to keep them content and entertained. It's remarkable how many of these items will be outgrown within the first year. As planned, today I went to Baby Love to start my registry. I was lucky enough to have my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, Susan, with me to help me make decisions and to write things down. As with the furniture the other day, we were attended by a friendly and knowledgeable salesperson for our entire visit. He helped us choose a carriage, high chair, infant carrier/car seat, toddler car seat, play yard, swing, exersaucer, body carrier and bouncy seat. I also selected a crib tent to keep our cat out of the crib (very important!). The great thing about today's visit, besides getting good advice on what to buy, was that the salesperson took the time to show me how to work all of the items. This is important, because there are so many clips, snaps, latches, levers, and belts on these things that it can be overwhelming without some assistance. I plan to go back to Baby Love sometime soon to register for the items we missed today (such as a monitor and a bath tub). When I got home, I started a duplicate registry at Babies-R-Us (Registry # 65420649). They don't have all the items, but their online ordering and multiple locations seem convenient. The reason we didn't shop at Babies-R-Us is because we found their sales service to be poor, as well as their selection. My mother advised me not to register until my 8th or 9th month (she felt it would be bad luck to go so soon), but I prefer to work this out now while I still have the time and energy. There's a long, hot summer in front of me, and I suspect I'm going to become more tired as I get bigger. I've got 3 1/2 months to go.

July 3, 2001 - I'm almost 26 weeks today... just one more week and I'll be in the third trimester! That's great, because I'm ready for the home stretch. I had my regular doctor's appointment today. I'm now 154 pounds, which means I've gained 24 pounds so far. This feels like a lot to me, but both the nurse and the doctor told me that I looked great. My blood pressure was good-- something over 62. It's not considered high unless it's something over 90 or more, so I'm okay. They found the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler in an instant. The doctor listened for a few moments, then looked at me and smiled, "It sounds very good!" I'm scheduled to go back in two weeks. At that time, I need to have a RhoGam injection because I am Rh-negative. Also, they are going to do a standard diabetes test. I'm supposed to drink some sweet liquid one hour before, then have my blood drawn. So, my next appointment's theme will be needles (ouch! I don't look forward to that). The baby has been kicking pretty regularly. In fact, she's kicking me right now. In one week, I am going back to Baby Love and Babies-R-Us to finish up my registry with my sister-in-law, Shari, and her baby, Skylar. Also, I've started to research birth announcements and have been receiving various samples by mail. Last night, Eric said the sweetest thing... he addressed my tummy and asked the baby to hurry up and come out because daddy wanted to play with her.

July 10, 2001 - Shari was amazing at helping me complete my registry today. She and Skylar (her 8-month-old daughter) met me at Baby Love at 10 a.m. to review my current list and to add more items. We made two changes: 1) We crossed off the expensive, bulky stroller and substituted a jogging stroller, which will be very useful for my walks with Arrow and rollerblading. As it turns out, the previous stroller I had on the list would not have held up to this type of outdoor activity, so I'm glad we switched. We also added a stroller frame that clips to the infant car seat (very compact and lightweight), as well as a regular infant/toddler stroller. 2) We crossed off the Graco Tot Block Playard (even though it was so cute!) and replaced it with a more practical Graco playard that includes a bassinet, changing table and canopy. Shari felt this playard would be fabulous for when I'm downstairs with the baby. Then, we went aisle by aisle and added other things, including a diaper pail, bottles and sterilizer, a diaper bag, a bath tub, towels, cloths, blankets and toys. Shari also helped me draw up a separate list of items I will need to purchase before the baby is born so that I will be ready for her arrival. After lunch, we went to Babies-R-Us. It's a lot easier to register for items there because they give you a handheld scanner to walk around the store and make selections. Again, we went aisle by aisle to create the list. A few of the items, such as the ear thermometer, baby monitor, and some toys, were exclusively selected there, but most everything else is a near match to our registry at Baby Love. By 2 p.m., we were finished. If I'm lucky, our daughter will be as sweet as Skylar. Even though she was tired, she smiled the whole time and never complained!

The Third Trimester

July 12, 2001 - I'm 27 weeks today (only 13 more to go!). Today, I bought a BeBe Sounds Prenatal Heart Listener. It's a handheld amplifier with headphones. I'm supposed to hold the unit against my tummy and listen for kicks, hiccups, and heartbeat. So far, I've only heard kicks, which were verified when my tummy jumped and I felt the kicks inside. Other than that, I've only been able to detect my own heartbeat, which was quite loud. The unit claims that "once you've passed your second trimester, your baby will be growing very rapidly and you will hear the heartbeat and all other sounds on a much more regular basis." Hopefully that's true. On another topic, yesterday, I splurged on a manicure and pedicure. Almost immediately, the conversation with the technician turned to babies. She told me she has a 2-year-old son, and that the OB/GYN who delivered him was horrible! She hated her birth experience, and was sick in the hospital for two weeks afterwards. Well, wouldn't you know it, her doctor was none-other than that idiot I dumped in my first trimester! That makes this the second woman I've met who complained about him. I'm surprised he hasn't been sued yet. Anyway, I was watching the news tonight, and learned that the high chair I registered for was just recalled because babies were getting their heads stuck in the arm rests! I called the store and was told not to worry. The recall only applies to chairs made in 1999 and earlier. And the final piece of news-- our glider and ottoman arrived today! What a treat to have this now so I can rest my back and ease my leg cramps.

July 17, 2001 - I went to the doctor today for a regular visit. My blood pressure was good (114/66). I have gained four more pounds, making me 159 (eegads!) An hour earlier, I drank five ounces of glucola (looks and tastes like Orange Sunkist soda), which was necessary for them to draw some blood for a gestational diabetes test. I should know by tomorrow if there is a problem. I was supposed to get a RhoGam shot too, but as it turns out, my doctor's office doesn't keep them in stock. I was told this is because so few of her patients are Rh-negative that the shots were expiring on the shelf. Plus, they had a tenfold price increase (from $3.50 to $35 each), making them expensive to keep around. So, I went over to Walgreens with a prescription and learned that they don't keep them in stock either. After a few phone calls, the pharmacist told me that RhoGam was covered by my insurance, and that it would be in by tomorrow afternoon. Once I pick that up, I can go back to the doctor's office and get the shot. In the meantime, I went back to finish my visit. The doctor had just returned from a C-section and was ready to see me. She measured my abdomen and said, "you've got a big baby in there!" She picked up the heartbeat on doppler right away. Besides going back for the RhoGam injection in a day or two, my next appointment is in three weeks on August 7th. After that, my appointments will be biweekly until 36 weeks, then weekly until delivery. I've started to experience several Braxton-Hicks contractions per day. The doctor said this is nothing to worry about-- not unless they develop a pattern or become painful. The baby has been kicking up a storm! I'm not sure when she sleeps, 'cause I feel the kicks at night, in the morning, and in the afternoon.

July 19, 2001 - I picked up the RhoGham at Walgreens today. They were keeping it in the refrigerator without a label on it. The girl told me they didn't label it because it was $650 (much higher than the $35 I was expecting!), and if I didn't come to pick it up, they would return it to their supplier. I was glad I had insurance-- my copay was only $15. When I arrived at the doctor's office, I handed them the box. They were curious why there were five syringes inside, because I only needed one. I said I didn't know. I gave the pharmacy their prescription, and this is what I got back. I told them they could keep the rest. They put me in an exam room and came in to administer the shot. She said that most people take it in the butt. I asked her if I could have it somewhere else, and she said "Sure, you can take it in the arm." That seemed much better to me. I winced in anticipation. Fortunately, the experience was over in just a few moments. My upper arm has been sore ever since, but other than that I'm okay. They gave me an identification card for this injection. I'm supposed to bring it to the hospital when it's time for delivery.

July 26, 2001 - I'm 29 weeks today-- only 11 more to go! My tummy is becoming a beach ball, and just about every stranger I meet on the street asks when I'm due. When I say early to mid-October, they seem kind of surprised, as if they were expecting something sooner. As the third trimester progresses, I've started to experience a new discomfort -- heartburn. It's a feeling like whatever is in my stomach is trying to push it's way back up my throat, even if I haven't eaten in a while. Yuk! I wake up at least twice every night to use the bathroom, which I write off as practice wake-ups for when the baby will need me. In the mornings, if I stretch too quickly, my calves cramp up and I have to shake them out for a few minutes before the pain subsides. When I look in the mirror, I am discouraged by my round chin and loose thighs that stick together when I walk. People tell me not to worry because I look fine to them. I guess it's impossible to gain 30 pounds and not have it show up somewhere! I'm still going to prenatal yoga, which is wonderful. The only problem is that it's almost all the exercise I get these days, and at one hour per week, it doesn't feel like enough. It's so hot and humid that I hardly walk with Arrow anymore. Plus, my tummy is too big for me to ride my bike, so I stopped. One of the girls in my yoga class is having the same frustration, so we're trying to find out if there are any additional yoga classes we can take that are safe while pregnant. In a couple of days, Eric and I start attending childbirth preparation classes. I hope they don't freak me out. I returned the "BeBe Sounds Prenatal Heart Listener" to the store today. It didn't deliver the sounds I was looking for, and the recording feature didn't work.

August 2, 2001 - Today, I went shopping with Eric's mom for our daughter's layette-- a collection of "must have" items that will get us through the first several weeks after she's born. It includes a variety of clothes (gowns, pajamas, shirts, socks, etc.), receiving blankets, bottles, pacifiers, protective pads, diapering items and bath supplies. There's only a few items we couldn't find, but I'm sure we can get those later. At least the bulk of it is taken care of, so I don't need to worry about scrambling after she's born. Most everything I bought was on sale (40%-50% off) and tax free, so it was a terrific day to go shopping! So that I don't bring bad luck into the house, Eric's mother is kindly keeping everything at her place until after the baby is born. The stores seem pretty flexible about exchanges. If we need to trade pink for blue, or even get a smaller or larger size, it should be no problem if we bring the items back unopened with a receipt. Last night, we attended our first childbirth preparation class. It was 2 1/2 hours long. There were 15 couples and one instructor (a nurse from the hospital, I believe). We got a bag of "goodies," which included magazines, coupons, offers, samples and a soft-cover text book. The woman spent most of the time going over stuff we already knew, like nutrition and exercise. She held up colored graphics to demonstrate things like effacement and dilation, water breaking, and what the baby looks like inside. She explained a few breathing techniques and went over the signs of labor. We did some relaxation exercises on the floor with pillows. The room was darkened and soft music was played. My yoga training made this very easy, but Eric kept making me laugh. At the end of class, we watched a video birth. Yuck! Next week, we're scheduled to go over the stages of labor and take a tour of the maternity ward at the hospital. We've already done the tour, but I'd like to do it again. The baby's kicks feel different now. What used to be wind-ups with follow-throughs has become limbs that drag under my skin. This can be seen from the outside. I now feel distinct hard and soft areas when I press against my tummy, and it feels really strange when her arms or legs brush up against my hand.

August 6, 2001 - I just received a call from Baby Love. Our furniture has arrived in their warehouse and can be scheduled for delivery at any time! While this is exciting, I told them that we need to wait until after the baby is born. She said that's fine with them, but warned me that it takes 4-5 days to schedule a delivery, so we may be without a crib and furniture for the first week or so. I can't decide if that would be fine, or if we should get the furniture delivered a little early. In other news-- I feel warm a lot, so I'm always adjusting the air conditioner (poor Eric, he's freezing sometimes). It has become difficult for me to work at the computer for long periods of time. So, it's taking me longer to finish creative projects (I do Web design and marketing from home). This is frustrating. Even though I've added a lumbar support to my chair, my left middle back hurts after only an hour. I can usually make the pain stop by taking a break and laying on my side, and when I do this in the late afternoon, it often leads to a long nap. My emotions have become erratic again. Family stress combined with concerns for the future have caused me to feel overwhelmed, worried and weepy at times. Thankfully, Eric doesn't mind if I call him at work "to talk," plus I have a few key family and friends who are supportive as well. Tomorrow, I am bringing a list of pediatricians to my OB/GYN appointment. She has agreed to go through the list from my insurance provider and recommend the doctors she likes. Then, I need to start scheduling interviews with each one. I also got a good recommendation from Shari's mother last week. Even though this all seems like a hassle (I never took this much care choosing my own primary care physician), I am told that I should have a pediatrician selected in advance, because the first examination will take place immediately or shortly after she's born. Finally-- the baby has been quite active, moving around several times a day. Her strong squirms feel a little creepy, but it's nice to know she's alive.

August 7, 2001 - Today's OB/GYN appointment went well. The nurses and staff were particularly friendly! When I showed up to sign in, two faces lit up. One nurse told me I looked great and asked how I was doing. A second cheerfully said "hello" to me in the waiting room as she held the door open for a patient. A third smiled and told me I looked great as I was leaving. All of this attention made me feel great. Anyway, I now weigh 162, for a total of 32 pounds gained so far. My doctor has not shown concern, so I'm not going to worry about it either, but it does seem a little high. The baby's heartbeat sounded strong on the Doppler, and my blood pressure was good. My next appointment is in two weeks on August 21, and probably again two weeks after that. Then, at 36 weeks, I'll get another ultrasound to check the baby's position. We will also go over my "birth plan" to make sure we're on the same page about my desired birth experience. After that, I will be seen weekly until the baby is born. My doctor recommended several pediatricians. I came home and set an appointment with one group for early September, and tentatively set an appointment with another-- they'll call me back because their computers were down. I've been reading the text book we got in childbirth class, and must admit that their frank description of the stages of birth, including typical physical and emotional responses, scares me.

Actual size of an infant diaper we received

August 9, 2001 - I'm 31 weeks today. Yesterday, we went to our second childbirth preparation class. We got another bag of goodies (samples, magazines and coupons). I've started a drawer for the baby with all the samples I've received. There are two cans of wet formula, three packets of powdered formula, five diapers, a pacifier, wipes, ointment, a bar of soap, hand sanitizer, disinfecting spray, and Dreft baby detergent. These samples won't last long, but it's a nice start. Our real stock of supplies is at Eric's parents' house, and I'm sure they'll bring them over soon after the baby's born. The main thing we don't have is a few packs of diapers (infants use 6-8 per day), but that should be easy to pick up at the last minute. In class, we went over the stages of birth and repeated the breathing exercises. Then, we watched a birth video from the baby's and mother's perspective. It was hard not to wince at those close-ups of the baby's head emerging, but I guess that's part of the education (Yuk! and Ouch!). The instructor told us that we were lucky to be giving birth in the modern age, because there is a remedy for every kind of pain we might feel. This was reassuring; however, I'm still concerned that I may not be able to breathe properly through the difficult "transition phase" (30-120 minutes long) when contractions are hard, last 60-90 seconds each, and come one on top of each other. This phase comes just prior to the pushing phase, which many women say is easier. After class, the instructor took us on a tour of the maternity ward. After viewing the labor and delivery room (which looked comfortable), we went over to the neonatal intensive care unit. This is where they take babies who are having trouble breathing, or who are born prematurely. There were three babies in this nursery. One singleton and a pair of twins. They were cute, but each looked very small. The doctor came out and spoke to us. He said that preemies usually stay in this nursery until they are the equivalent of 35-37 weeks gestation. They will not accept a baby less than 2 pounds (less than 28 weeks)-- those babies are shipped over to Broward General Hospital. Babies born with a heart defect are immediately airlifted to Miami Children's hospital (that sounds scary!). Next, we went over to the regular nursery. There were two robust, healthy pink babies in there-- just one day old each! The nurses held each one up to the window. These babies were so cute swaddled in blankets with fuzzy knit caps on their heads. Afterwards, we went on to tour the maternity recovery rooms. They're small, but with only 1-5 days in recovery, I figure it's no big deal. Both the delivery and recovery areas are under lock and key, which is nice for security reasons. Having not heard back on the tentative pediatrician appointment (the one whose computers were down), I went ahead and called a different group that is closer to my house. They were very accomodating. I am scheduled to consult with one of their doctors on Monday afternoon.

August 10, 2001 - I found a new way to get some exercise-- mall walking! I've never been a big shopper, but lately my mother, sister and mother-in-law have been inviting me to go shopping about once a week. Today, Eric's mother and I went to SawGrass Mills. This megamall is over a mile long with beautiful wood floors and air-conditioning. We walked for an hour or so. Along the way, we stopped at the toy store, the Hello Kitty store, and the Baby Gap. Everything was so cute! Baby Gap was having a sale (too good to pass up), so we picked out a "coming home" outfit for the baby. This precious powder pink "sugar & spice" pajama set includes a matching cap, socks and receiving blanket. Aww!! Since everything is at his parents' house, Eric hasn't seen any of the clothes yet and feels a little left out. Tomorrow, we're headed over there for lunch. I'll show him everything then!

August 13, 2001 - Today, Eric and I interviewed our first pediatrician. Recommended by my OB/GYN, he is located on the quiet side of a Kmart shopping center less than 10 minutes from our house. He shares his office with four other doctors, and is part of the Pediatric Associates Group, a network of facilities in the tri-county area. We signed in at 4:45 p.m. The woman at the front desk was very friendly. She advised us that the doctor was running late with four patients ahead of us. She suggested that we explore the mall and return in 45 minutes. When we got back, she updated us and apologized for the unusually long wait. Apparently, this doctor had just returned from a 2-week vacation, plus lots of parents had been bringing in their kids for the "back-to-school-rush." While waiting, we admired the vivid jungle theme murals throughout the lobby which were so new, the artist was still painting a section. I admired the wraparound wooden park bench and tree beneath a wooden sun and skylight. Nearby, the reception desk and window appeared invitingly round and open, framed in painted stones like a castle. Lampposts painted with ivy vines indicated which areas of the waiting room were for "sick" and "well" children. While first waiting, we sat near a woman and her infant. When she overheard that we were there to interview this doctor, she told us he was wonderful, and that she and her infant like him a lot. After our long walk, we sat down and another woman approached us. Her teenage son walked ahead. Without solicitation, she leaned over and told us that her son had been seeing this doctor, who she adores, for 15 years! A few minutes later, the doctor personally came out to the waiting room, shook our hands and invited us into his office. For the next forty minutes, he told us wonderful things about him and the office. For example, he's the Vice Chairman of Pediatrics at our preferred hospital. He's been practicing medicine for 15 years, and has been with this group for four of them. Their office is open 7-days a week with generously long hours (M-F 8-9, Sat 8-8, Sun 9-8). Even though there are five doctors that work in this office, he would be our child's primary care physician. After 5 p.m. and on weekends, the doctors rotate and cover. In the late evenings, we would have access to a 24-hour pediatric nurse hotline. If necessary, the nurse will page the on-call doctor. This doctor described his style as "laid back" and flexible. He supports breast feeding, but doesn't force it. He provides parents with lots of informational resources and guidance, and spends 15-30 minutes at each appointment. He makes sure to answer all questions and not hurry any patients along. Every day, the doctors meet at 1:30 to go over the latest trends in pediatric medicine, and they're always educating themselves about new breakthroughs. They work well together, and often consult each other for second opinions. X-rays and other lab tests are done in-house, and they can dispense pharmaceuticals. At the conclusion of the interview, the doctor personally gave us a tour of their facilities, which all looked clean and cheerful. The murals appeared in all the hallways, really giving the office a unique and friendly feel. We learned that a new waiting room and reception area would be opened shortly, catering just to his patients (not because he has more, but because of his seniority). He wished us luck with the rest of our pregnancy and advised us to tell my doctor and the hospital before the birth if we choose him. Eric and I have discussed it, and feel 95% sure that we will choose this pediatrician, but we have scheduled an interview with another highly recommended group in early September as a backup. In other news-- as the third trimester progresses and the baby gets bigger, I am becoming more uncomfortable. I am more swollen and find it hard to breathe sometimes. I experience more heartburn, fatigue, pain in my ligaments, ribs, back and sciatic nerves, and more Braxton-Hicks contractions. Oh well, I guess this is to be expected. It will all be over soon... about 6-8 weeks if she's on schedule!

August 15, 2001 - I'm almost 32 weeks. This evening, we went to our last childbirth preparation class. We were greeted by more magazines, offers, and samples. We got four diapers and another disinfectant spray. In this class, we practiced breathing and relaxing some more (including hand massage), and learned about the different pain relief methods available at our hospital. It puts me at ease to know they will offer pain relief "whenever you ask for it" because they want mothers relaxed for a more productive delivery. One of the hospital anesthesiologists came in to answer questions about epidurals, spinal blocks and general anesthesia. We watched another birth movie. This time, the woman received an epidural first, and seemed quite calm throughout the rest of her delivery. She looked a lot happier than the women in those previous films! Afterwards, we viewed slides of different presentations that lead to C-sections, such as breech, baby's head too big, placenta in the wrong place, etc. At the end of class, we received a "Certificate of Participation." We are taking one more class next week to learn about breast feeding. It will be taught by a lactation consultant.

August 19, 2001 - Okay, I'm really uncomfortable now. When I woke up this morning, I was greeted by another painful "Charlie Horse" in my calf. There's also a steady ache in my ribs on the right side. It hurts most when I lay down, reach for something, or press gently against them. I assume this is nothing-- just a result of the baby getting big-- but I'll mention it to my doctor on Tuesday just to be sure. Heartburn comes more frequently now, as well as sciatic pain down my left hip and leg. Fortunately, I have some yoga stretches I can do to counter these discomforts, but they aren't completely effective or easy to do any more. Tums works well on the heartburn. Time is dragging on now. Each night when I go to bed, and every morning when I wake up, I am still pregnant and getting bigger. I can't decide what's worse-- the first three months when I was nauseous and moody, or the last two when I'm bursting at the seams. I've read it's not uncommon to hope the baby comes a few weeks early. I wouldn't mind something around the 37th or 38th week. She reminds me of her presence often. When she moves, I feel and see ridges rolling across my abdomen, and often feel a sudden press against my bladder. I've finally sorted through all the coupons, samples and magazines I've received. The magazines are packed with great advice on infant care, which gives me confidence that we'll be able to take care of our baby just fine.

August 21, 2001 - Today's OB/GYN checkup went well. My blood pressure was 120 over something, which the assistant said was good. I'm now 166 pounds. Yikes! That's 36 pounds gained so far, and I've still got several weeks to go. The nurse practitioner saw me today. When I told her I was concerned about my weight, she said I'm still within normal range, but if I'm worried, I should try drinking less juice and eating less pasta. I'll give it a try. She measured my abdomen from top to bottom and said it was just right for the number of weeks that I'm along. I told her about the pain in my ribs and she said it was normal. She detected the baby's heartbeat on doppler instantly. The baby started moving just afterwards, and it made me think back to the old days when I anxiously awaited each monthly appointment so that I could hear her heartbeat on doppler. Now, she reminds me of her presence all day long. My next appointment is in two weeks on September 4.

August 22, 2001- I'm 33 weeks now. Tonight, Eric and I spent two hours in breast feeding class. We listened to a long slide presentation, then watched a video. During the presentation, the instructor pointed out several benefits for baby and mom, showed scientific drawings, described ways to hold the baby, and explained the proper latching technique. I didn't care much for the video because I don't like to watch breast feeding. And while I plan to give breast feeding a try, I don't want to be watched, either. We received a packet of literature that I plan to read soon. My main concern right now is the demanding feeding schedule. The instructor told us that babies must nurse every 2-3 hours around the clock. This means that I would need to wake up twice a night for 10-30 minutes each to tend to the baby. Right now, my two nightly trips to the bathroom are clumsy, and I fall back asleep instantly. I suspect that dealing with the baby will be a lot more demanding than that!

August 26, 2001 - A few days ago, my mother sent me a strange package in the mail. When I opened it, I found a nearly life-sized infant girl doll with a note that read, "Turn it on, then practice!!" The doll sneezes, cries and laughs. I figured it would be a great opportunity to get our dog and cat used to the idea of having a baby around. Several months ago, friends of ours gave us their bassinet. So, I brought it in from the garage, washed it up, and put it next to our bed, because that's probably where our baby will sleep for the first few weeks anyway. I put the baby doll in there to see how our pets would do. So far, they've been great. Arrow has sniffed the bassinet and licked the doll's face, hands and feet, but has made no agressive sounds or gestures. Chloe has been mostly disinterested. She has not attempted to sleep in the bassinet, which is great. I won't let my guard down, though. I know that a real baby, complete with human noises and smells, may be different. As Eric's mom suggested, I rubbed a little baby powder on the doll to help it smell like a baby.

August 29, 2001 - I'm 34 weeks now. I am pleased to report that the pain in my ribs went away. This means I can sleep comfortably again! Since I've gained 35-40 pounds and Eric has gained 25, we decided to improve our diets. Over the past week or so, we've been eating more fruits, vegetables, and grains. We stopped preparing meats, fish and poultry "any way I craved them," and switched to low fat stir-fry and baking. Plus, we cut out our nightly chocolate and peanut butter. Hopefully this will all make a difference! Eric seems to have lost five pounds already, and I haven't had a leg cramp in a while (they say leg cramps are related to nutrition). I went to prenatal yoga today, like I do every Wednesday. Today's class was wonderful, except for the two poses that cut off my circulation. Now that the neighborhood kids have gone back to school, I'm hoping to exercise in our community pool 1-2 days per week. I just couldn't do it over the summer with so many kids bouncing around the pool. I was afraid one of them might jump on my neck while I was trying to swim a lap.

August 31, 2001 - The pool was wonderfully vacant yesterday! I managed to swim six laps without any distractions. I'm glad I got some exercise. I'm worried about our cat now. Last night, as I was settling into sleep, I was awoken by the sound of the baby doll laughing in the bassinet. I thought perhaps Eric had walked into the room and pressed on the doll's tummy, but alas, it turned out to be Chloe. She had jumped into the bassinet when I wasn't looking, laid on the doll, became startled when it laughed, then scampered away. This freaked me out! Thankfully, our friend just sent me an e-mail telling me where we can purchase protective netting for the bassinet for $5.00. I was relieved and added it to our Babies-R-Us registry. In other news, I went to the salon today, and my stylist told me that I should either stop going in the pool or wear a bathing cap because the chlorine had wrecked my highlights. Geeze. While I was getting my hair done, three women volunteered their birth stories. The first one said she gained only 6 pounds during her pregnancy 22 years ago. "I ate and ate and ate," she said, "but could never put on any weight!" Listening to her story made me feel like a cow. The second woman told me that she was in labor for 36 hours with her son, that she didn't like my hospital, and that breastfeeding was impossible for her. She also noted that because I feel so many kicks during the day, I'm going to having a rambunctious child who may be hard to manage. Thankfully, the third woman's story was a nice one. She told me that with all three of her sons, her deliveries were easy, and she felt great the next morning.

September 4, 2001 - This morning, I headed over to the local mall. I enjoyed the aerobics of walking up and down the whole place, but after two hours, I found myself with an aching lower back. I purchased a few items for my hospital bag, including a nightgown, socks and slippers. Afterwards, I headed over to my OB/GYN for another checkup. Everything was fine. I've gained another two pounds, for a total of 38 so far. The nurse practitioner listened to the baby's heartbeat on Doppler and noted that it was real strong. She measured my abdomen and said the baby is growing perfectly. My next appointment is in two weeks. I'll be 36 weeks then. In addition to the standard tests I've been getting, they will draw blood again, do an ultrasound to check the baby's presentation, and discuss my birth plan (I think). They will also do an internal exam to see if there are any changes "down there" that would indicate birth is on the horizon. I will have to come back every week thereafter for an internal exam until the baby is born. I don't look forward to all that handling! The baby is still very active, which is great, except that her movements are now so close to my skin that it hurts.

September 5, 2001 - Eric and I interviewed a second pediatric group this morning. The office manager met with us and was quite pleasant. One of the doctors shook our hands as we were leaving, but didn't say much. We tried to stay open-minded, but this group just didn't offer the same great atmosphere, services and benefits like the doctor and practice we interviewed before. So, this afternoon, I am going to call my OB/GYN to tell her we've chosen our pediatrician and ask what I need to do to make it official.

September 11, 2001 - Terrorism Strikes America! - Although this has little to do with my pregnancy, I wanted to mention this tragedy as an important day in history. My mother called me at around 9 a.m. and asked me to turn on the TV news because one of the Twin Towers in New York City was on fire. For the next two hours, I watched in horror as terrorist activities unfolded. The national media pre-empted all programming and kicked off round-the-clock coverage. As I flipped between the stations, the Internet, the phone and AOL Instant Messenger, I started to feel funny. I became sweaty and my ankles tingled. The sides of my face tingled as well. My breathing became shallow. I had to take a break from it all, so I turned the air conditioning down to 70 degrees, took some Tylenol, drank some water, and put my feet up. Thankfully, Eric's company sent everyone home around lunch time, and once he got here, I felt more at ease. All of South Florida was shut down while the country was put on high alert.

Around 9 a.m. on Tuesday, Terrorists hijacked two American Airlines flights and flew them into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in Manhattan.

About an hour or two after impact, both towers and a nearby building crumbled to the ground, flooding the streets of Manhattan with rubble and smoke.

During this coordinated act of violence, terrorists also hijacked two United Airlines flights. One crashed into the Pentagon. The second, which was either headed for Camp David or the White House, crashed into a rural field in Pennsylvania.

September 12, 2001 - The television still offers 24-hour coverage. There is a South Florida connection-- one of the suspected hijackers lived in our city and went to flight school here. They're showing our city on the national news right now. The death toll is estimated at around 100 at the Pentagon, nearly 300 on the four airplanes, and "thousands" at the twin towers. Finding out for sure will be a slow process. I went to yoga class this morning and found it quite difficult. I'm just too big to do most of the moves now, and I think the baby has moved lower, causing pain in my bladder during class (and a constant urge to pee at other times). Even though I ate a small breakfast, I felt dizzy and nauseous the whole time with terrible heartburn. I'll see how I feel next week, but I might stop going to classes altogether. I feel like my body is gearing up for something, but I can't be sure. Hopefully, I'll find out more when I see my doctor in six days.

September 13, 2001 - I'm 36 weeks today and rather uncomfortable. I have no energy at all, and two of my maternity shorts have lost their seams. I really don't feel like sewing them up. I'd rather just take a nap. My double chin looks enormous, and my fingers and toes are swollen (not dangerously, just annoyingly). I'm starting to work on converting our guest bedroom to the baby's room. Hopefully, the breast cancer charity we selected will take away the bed tomorrow, but we were warned that they may not if it's hard to carry down the stairs. The baby has been moving a lot today, which is wonderful, but also slightly painful. Except for music, my toothbrush, and an outfit for the baby, my bag is packed. I hope to quietly slip away to the hospital when the time comes because I don't want anyone there (not even in the waiting room) except for Eric. I'd prefer to see my family and friends once the baby arrives and we're both cleaned up and rested. The 24-hour news coverage of the terrorism continues. It's been raining and thundering for days now. Tropical Storm Gabrielle is spinning off the West Coast of Florida today. The estimated strike path is shown above. If it becomes a threat to us, I will post information in our Hurricane Coverage.

Baby's first outfit to wear home from the hospital

September 15, 2001 - Moving right along. I was really uncomfortable yesterday. Those gentle Braxton Hicks contractions I've felt for the past few months turned into something worse-- strong pain in my lower abdomen. It wasn't regular, so I didn't call my doctor. I checked out a few Web sites instead. Each described this pain as "false labor." I'm not sure if this means I'm getting close to the real thing or not, but at least I will know the difference when it comes. According to these sites, real labor contractions start at the top of the abdomen and radiate through to the lower back. They should come every five minutes and increase in intensity. Thankfully, I haven't felt any discomfort today. This morning, Eric's mom brought over the layette and supplies she had been holding for me. I left everything in the bags and put them in the closet just in case we need to exchange them or get a store credit (God forbid!). I washed one outfit to bring the baby home in and snapped a picture above. Isn't it adorable?! The driver from that breast cancer charity refused to accept our bed because "nobody ever buys those." What a jerk. I considered keeping it in the baby's room, but Eric's mom didn't think that was a good idea. She's going to help us get rid of it.

Me and Arrow 37 weeks

September 18, 2001 - As with all appointments that I really look forward to, this one left me disappointed. Eric came along this time. They drew blood (which hurt a lot) to make sure I'm not anemic. I weighed 172 pounds, for a total of 42 gained so far. My blood pressure was normal (whatever it was). The nurse practitioner examined me again this time, which was too bad because I was hoping to have seen the doctor. My abdomen measured 37 cm, which she said was good progress. The Doppler picked up a strong heartbeat on the baby. The nurse did a quick ultrasound to confirm the position of the baby's head only. She said it was down, but couldn't say if it was facing up or back. I was hoping she could use the ultrasound to confirm that we're having a girl, but she said the baby's legs were crossed and it was too hard to tell. She took one photo of the baby's face that was so blurry, I'm not bothering to put it online. She didn't try to estimate the baby's weight, which is too bad because I'd like to know if the baby is going to be large or difficult to deliver. It seems like everyone else gets this information during their exams. She finished up with a culture and an internal exam. Neither was painful, which I was glad for. She decided I was one finger tip dilated (less than 1 cm), 50% effaced, and the baby is at "-3 station," which is one notch engaged into the pelvis. She said this was all quite normal for 36/37 weeks, and that I shouldn't expect the baby to come early. I thought we would be discussing the birth plan today, so I came prepared with a written plan. Unfortunately, she just put it in my file and said the doctor would review it and cross out anything that didn't mesh with her procedures. That wasn't very reassuring. Finally, I asked when I would get to meet the on-call doctors. I was told that would not be possible. I'm scheduled to go back in one week for another checkup.

September 20, 2001 - I'm 37 weeks today! I called my doctor's office this morning to see if I could be scheduled with my doctor instead of the nurse next week. I said I was concerned that I hadn't had the opportunity to discuss my birth plan or be given an estimate of the baby's weight. I told her that big babies run in my family and I don't want a 30-hour labor followed by an emergency c-section. The receptionist apologized that I was not seen by the doctor last time and assured me that I could see her next time to discuss these issues with her. She went on to say that if the doctor thinks I'm headed for a big baby, I may be entitled to another ultrasound to verify. She also said the doctor wouldn't make me head into labor with a huge baby. I don't know if that means early induction or a scheduled c-section. I guess I'll find out more next week. In other news, I've gotten clumsy lately. Yesterday, I tripped over my own toes and went barreling into my makeup table. I didn't think much of it at the time, but by mid-afternoon, the top of my left foot was really hurting and causing me to limp. It still hurts today, but not quite as bad. There's no bruise or broken skin, so I'm going to wait and see if it improves on its own.

September 23, 2001 - I woke up feeling low today. I had two anxiety dreams last night. In the first dream, I let down my entire team by causing us to lose the football game. The coach, my awful former boss, glared at me across the stadium a few times before discarding me. In the second, I failed an important exam and hung around the empty classroom for hours, staring out the window into the rain. I finally called my mother and asked if she could pick me up. Also lingering in my mind is something I saw on the Discovery Health Channel on Friday. It was a "Birth Story" episode. They introduced the laboring woman as someone who had lost her first child to stillbirth. I was heart broken by her recollection of the experience. She said she was one week past due. She went to her doctor for a regular checkup and they could not find the heartbeat. An ultrasound confirmed that her baby was dead. I went to the Internet and found other stories. Each woman described the same thing-- a day or so had gone by and they hadn't felt their baby move. There was no warning. One of the sites said that this phenomena strikes 7,000 U.S. babies every year. Yikes! Now, I have this irrational fear that this can happen to me. I'm anxious when the baby rests, and relieved when she moves around. Hopefully, she'll be born soon so I can stop worrying about this. In other news, my heartburn has become worse. I feel it several times a day and in the middle of the night. Yuck! At least my left foot and calf feels 75% better today. I'm still limping, but not quite as much.

September 25, 2001 - I'm almost 38 weeks. The nurse practitioner did another internal exam today. She said there was no change from last week, but not to worry because that's normal. She suggested that I try walking to encourage progress. Unfortunately, I told her, my limp is making it hard to get around. It's also been so hot, sticky and humid outside. Maybe in a few days it will be nicer and my foot will be better so I can give it a try. My blood pressure was ten points higher than my last reading, but I was told that is okay. My Strep-B culture came back negative, so I won't need antibiotics during delivery. I weighed in at 174 pounds, which is two pounds over last week. Damn! This brings my total weight gain to 44 pounds so far. My abdomen measured 37 cm again, which the nurse said was fine. Apparently, there shouldn't be much change in the final weeks. The baby's heartbeat sounded great. After my exam, I had the opportunity to go over a few things with the doctor. She approved my birth plan. The only thing she crossed off is clear fluids during labor, because I'm only allowed to have ice chips just in case they need to do a c-section. I also found out that I don't need to worry about going past my due date. Once 40 weeks comes, if the baby hasn't arrived, I can schedule an induction. As far as my concern for the baby's size goes, the doctor patted my tummy and said it looks like I'll have a good-sized baby, but that doesn't mean she will be overly large or difficult to deliver. When I am in labor, the doctor will carefully check to see how the baby is descending. If there is a lack of progress because the baby is too big, she will not make me labor for a long time and will just go ahead and do a c-section. That sounded fine to me. Also, there will be no routine episiotomy. I'll only get one if it looks like I'll tear. That's acceptable. At the conclusion of the appointment, they gave me some photocopied pages from my chart to put in my hospital bag. I'm scheduled to have another appointment next Tuesday.

September 26, 2001 - I went to Yoga class this morning and it felt great! Unfortunately, my feet are so swollen that it's difficult to get around. I'm still limping on the left, and both my feet and ankles feel stiff. I mentioned this to a nurse at my last appointment, but she did not seem concerned. I got the impression that it's normal to "blow up" near the end. I hope this improves soon so I can do some walking!

October 1, 2001 - Hooray! October is finally here. Thank God. I'm not crazy about giving birth, but if it means I can trade in my discomforts for a baby, then I'm all for it. I'm nauseous a lot, heartburn comes frequently, my clothes are too tight, I'm totally swollen, my left foot feels worse, I get winded walking up and down the stairs, and I'm still gaining weight at a steady clip (my bathroom scale revealed three more pounds gained in one week). I feel like a whale and I have to pee all the time. I think the baby is lower today, but I can't be sure. I called the doctor on Friday about my feet (I'm still limping), but was told there's not much I can do except put them up and drink lots of water. Weh, weh, weh. While grocery shopping this afternoon, I paused to take my blood pressure in one of those automatic machines. My reading was high (144/80), so I quickly finished shopping and ran home to call the doctor. I told her about all of my symptoms, but none of them concerned her. She said the second (and most important) number of my blood pressure reading was normal, so I should just take it easy tonight and see her at my regular appointment tomorrow.

Me at 39 weeks

October 2, 2001 - I'm closing in on 39 weeks now. I had my third internal exam today. This time, the doctor performed it. Unfortunately, there has been no change "down there" at all. I'm still just a fingertip dilated, 50% effaced, -3 station, and posterior (not quite sure what that means). My blood pressure was better today (134/78). I weighed 176 pounds (two more than last time) for a total of 46 gained overall. The baby's heartbeat sounded "great" on the Doppler. The doctor cupped her hands around my belly and said, "You've got a good-sized baby in there." She estimated somewhere between 7-8 pounds as of today. Since my due date is next week, the doctor asked me how I feel about induction. I told her I feel fine with it. In that case, she said, I should come in on Monday (Oct. 8th) for my weekly checkup. If I'm "inducable" (dilated just a little more), then she'll induce me on Monday night. That means our baby would have a good chance of being born on my birthday (Oct. 9th). That would be really cool! On the other hand, if my internal exam reveals that I'm 3-4 cm dilated, she said it may be better to let me start labor on my own so that I can spend the first several hours at home rather than in the hospital. She didn't say what we would do if I'm not inducable. I guess we'll discuss that next week. In the meantime, she said if I want to encourage progress, I've got to walk-- or at least do the best I can with my injured foot. No problem! I'll just limp along. I'm ready to meet our baby.

October 5, 2001 - I'm jealous. My other pregnant friends who were due around the same time as me are having their babies. One of them gave birth two weeks ago, another went yesterday, and a third is in labor right now! Oh well. It'll be my turn, soon.

It's time!

October 8, 2001 - I've been having hot flashes, nausea, and more braxton-hicks contractions these past few days. I just got back from the doctor. My blood pressure was 130/80. My weight was the same. The baby's heart beat sounded great on Doppler. I am still 50% effaced, but now I'm 1 cm dilated and the baby has dropped down two notches to -1 station. That would explain why my lower back feels so much pressure today! I'm glad I made some progress from last week-- I really tried! Arrow and I walked almost every day. Eric came along to meet my doctor today. After discussing it, we all decided to go ahead and induce me tonight. I am supposed to eat a light dinner, then go to the emergency room at 8 p.m. to check in. They are going to give me something called Cervadil to ripen my cervix overnight. I'll also get something to help me sleep. Twelve hours later, they are going to start me on pitocin and break my water. That should get contractions going. I plan on accepting all pain medications that are offered-- and I hope they don't make me hold out too long to get them! I suspect that the baby will be born some time tomorrow afternoon or night. Hopefully it won't take much longer than that. So, that's the news. Now everybody knows! If you're looking for late breaking information, your best bet would be to contact my mother or Eric's mother. As soon as I am home and can sit at the computer for a few moments, I will post pictures of the new baby.

October 8 - 8:45 p.m. update: We were turned away from Labor & Delivery because all of the labor rooms were full. This was so disappointing, particularly since my lower back is hurting so much. They said they will call us when a room opens up-- perhaps in 2-3 hours, but who knows? This means our baby may be not born until late tomorrow evening or in the middle of the night. Oh well. I just hope that all these laboring women won't take up the first-come-first-serve single recovery rooms, but I'm sure they will. If I get stuck in a double, Eric won't be allowed to sleep over with me.

October 8 - 11:15 p.m. update: Labor & Delivery just called and apologized that there are still no rooms available. I was invited to come in at 1 a.m. or 6 a.m., but I thought that would mess up my doctor's plan to "ripen me" overnight and start the induction first thing in the morning. I was right. I called my doctor and she confirmed that it would be best to wait until tomorrow night to try again. Unless the back pain and abdominal cramps I've been feeling turn into something rhythmic, my doctor told me to wait until 6 p.m. tomorrow to return to the hospital. That means this baby probably won't be born on my birthday (October 9th), but that's okay. October 10th is cousin Brookie's birthday, which the baby might enjoy, too. Stay tuned for more.

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Leah Ciera is born!
October 10, 2001 at 7:47 AM
7 pounds 6 ounces
19 inches long

October 12, 2001 - Just home from the hospital and totally exhausted. Leah is here! Birth story will be posted soon.

October 15, 2001 - I think we're adjusting to our new life with the baby pretty well. She's so adorable, we just can't stop looking at her! Here's her birth story:

October 9 was a second busy night (read what happened last night) in Labor & Delivery, but thankfully they saved us a room so we could proceed with the induction as planned. After checking into the room and changing into a gown, they tied me up to monitors, started an IV, then inserted Cervadil to ripen my cervix over night. It was 9:15 p.m. I was told to lie flat on my back for two hours. In rare cases, the nurse said, Cervadil can cause a "nearly ready woman" to go into labor, but that it wasn't likely in my case. So, I was expecting a good night's sleep followed by Pitocin the next morning. I had no such luck! I went into labor two hours later at 11:15 p.m. The contractions were noticeable but manageable at 5-7 minutes apart. By 1 a.m., I asked the nurse to give me something by IV to "take the edge off" the strengthening contractions. She gave me Stadol. It was wonderful! I fell asleep immediately and slumbered from 1-3 a.m., at which time I awoke to painful contractions once again. By 4 a.m., I begged the nurse to give me more Stadol. She said that wouldn't be possible; however, she would be happy to check my cervix and "stretch it to 3 cm" so that I would qualify for the epidural. To her surprise, I had progressed to 4 cm on my own, so she ordered the epidural. My contractions were now 1-3 minutes apart and quite painful! By 5 a.m., the anesthesiologist arrived. I applauded! It took him two tries, but he finally got the epidural in place and I didn't feel contractions anymore. It was bliss! Unfortunately, I hated being so tethered. They had me on an IV, a fetal monitor, a blood pressure monitor, and a catheter. I was stuck on my back which was uncomfortable. About an hour later, I noticed that the nurse was hanging around my bed reading the printouts of fetal heart rate and contractions. They brought me an oxygen mask which was nice. By 7 a.m., my doctor appeared in the room. She advised the nurse to start an internal fetal monitor to confirm what they were seeing. It did. The baby's heart rate was fluctuating between 150 and 80 beats per minute. This was considered fetal distress, and the doctor advised me that we would have to do an emergency C-section. She said that if I was 9 or 10 cm, there would be time for a normal delivery, but I was only 5 cm, so we had to act fast. Frankly, I was relieved. I was sick of regular labor, and I liked the idea of getting the baby out right away. The C-section went smoothly. I was awake, but numbed from head to toe. Eric was allowed to stay with me. Thankfully, I didn't have to watch, but Eric said it was beautiful. I became very cold from the anesthesia and required warm blankets during surgery to stop from shivering so much. While I didn't feel any real pain, there was some uncomfortable pressure which a nurse was kind enough to explain to me during the procedure. It did not take them long to sew me back up and send me off to see Eric and Leah. It turns out that she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and her body, and she was pulling on it with her hand! This was causing her heart rate to jump around so much. Leah was born healthy and I am recovering nicely. Our hospital stay was three days. Now, we're enjoying some time at home.

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